There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
porn star boner night. come get it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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