I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
