Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Soap is not a condiment
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
