But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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