he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
