dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
