why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You're breaking my sexual little heart
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
