Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
