Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
