im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I need to align my fucking chakras
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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