we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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