Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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