You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
