I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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