I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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