I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
