Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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