Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
