it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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