I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize