Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i think i have two assholes
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
