the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
