I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
