In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
