dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
