just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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