is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
