Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
