he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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