Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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