it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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