I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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