Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize