We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
