The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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