so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
