I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
