It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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