I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize