I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
