Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
