I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
