I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
ttyl tear gas
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
