Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize