you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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