He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
