margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize