If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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