at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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