So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
