New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
