so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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