3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
