Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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