I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So here I am, sexting at work.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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