Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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