He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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