GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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