I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
