you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
