Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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