Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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