His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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