i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
