i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I AM VODKA MAN
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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