Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
