ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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