Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
