Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
