I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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