called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
