we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
