Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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