last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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