Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
