He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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