Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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