i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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