remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
