brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
