dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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